


Melon, For F*ck's Sake

by ladyoneill



Series: Lady O's Teen Wolf Bingo Stories [30]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-22
Updated: 2014-03-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 13:05:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1348510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyoneill/pseuds/ladyoneill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apparently Stiles' clothes are "dismal".  His girlfriend insists on doing something about that.  To his horror there are pants in colors that should not exist involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Melon, For F*ck's Sake

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the cotton candy bingo prompt: wildcard for which I went with shopping. A few curse words and a vague mention of sex.

Listening to his girlfriend talking about the state of his clothes--apparently dismal--Stiles grows more and more alarmed.

He loves his quirky t-shirts and flannels, his baggy khakis and converses.

As Lydia goes on and on, pawing through his closet and dresser drawers--thankfully his porn is tucked away in a box beneath his bed with the dust bunnies--he feels his dread grow as every minute passes.

And, then, finally the inevitable.

"We're going shopping."

Stiles head desks--literally, because he's sitting at his desk.

"Ow."

She's decidedly unimpressed by his pain.

*****

It's a Saturday in late winter--apparently the spring lines are in, whatever that means--and the mall is packed. Arm locked through his--because she knows he'll try to run if she gives him any leeway--Lydia drags Stiles into Banana Republic.

"I don't need a safari hat."

"Funny." Her glare says he's not at all funny, and he sighs helplessly, then notes that there are khakis on the racks. Maybe this won't be so bad...

It's bad.

The first thing she shoves into his arms is a pair of orange pants.

Orange.

"It's not orange. It's melon."

"Fuck my life," Stiles mutters as he staggers to the changing room with said melon pants, a couple other pairs, thankfully one in a sort of creamy khaki, but all skinny, SKINNY, and polo tops with little elephants on the chest. "At least it's not a banana." There are also a couple of sweaters which don't suck quite as much, a couple blazers--apparently he's a blazer guy now--and one vest that's actually kind of cool. He thinks he can rock a vest.

Maybe with a fedora.

But not fucking melon colored pants. He has to draw the line somewhere.

He ends up with the melon colored pants.

But, also the really cool navy on navy paisley vest.

"Why can't I get a plaid shirt? They have plaid shirts." Stiles whines as Lydia gives the critical eye to shirts in other patterns, some of them pink and, oh god, there's a melon one but thankfully she ignores that for a dark blue with some kind of diamond pattern--not plaid but not horrible.

"This will go well with the melon pants, a nice contrast. Try them on together."

"But I already tried on the pants. They fit."

The look she gives him of complete incomprehension makes him sigh and shuffle off to the changing room again.

As he passes a rack of hats, he snags a navy straw fedora.

He gets the fedora--he deserves one thing he actually wants.

He also gets the shirt that, thankfully kind of diminishes the meloness of the pants.

Slumping against the counter, Stiles winces at the rising cost as the salesperson rings them up, but Lydia just hands over her dad's platinum card without a thought.

There's probably something wrong with letting his girlfriend buy his clothes, right?

"So, we done? Can we go home now?" he ask eagerly as he lugs two large bags out of the store.

"That was just the first store, Stiles," is her evil reply.

Oh fuck his life sideways.

*****

Although, in the end, it works pretty well in his favor. The next weekend they go to a party and he wears the melon pants, navy shirt and hat, and notes several girls and a couple guys checking out his ass, gets some compliments on the rakish tilt of his hat, and Lydia, pleased by his appearance and his willingness to let her dress him, gives him a "happy" in the back of the jeep.

End


End file.
